範文內容說明詳解、規劃、爆Points
Learning English through Workplace Communication
(中譯: 申請工作崗位調配)
2020 DSE Paper 2 Q3 (Mock)
You work for the DBC Bank in Hong Kong. You would like to apply for a work transfer to a similar position in the Singapore Branch of the Bank.
Write a letter to Mr. Hung, your manager, highlighting your work achievements and why you would like to transfer and how your transfer would benefit the whole organization.
(about 400 words)
2020 IELTS (Mock)
You would like to apply for a work shift to a similar position in the Singapore Branch of DBC Banking Group.
Write a letter to Mr. Hung, your superior, highlighting your work achievements and why you would like to transfer and how your transfer would benefit the whole banking group.
(250 words or above)
如要詳細了解文中所用的符號及說明,請按此了解【免費DSE英文,IELTS寫作技巧詳解及範文】
A) 思緒草搞(寫作前): Draft ‘Organization & Content’ before Writing
PPB 三段爆點思維(mindset) 【什麼是PPB三層爆點法(廣東話按此)(普通話按此)】
1. Popularity: Singapore 是英語國家/ 香港及新加坡都是金融中心。
2. Purpose: 用英語處理與客人的關係
3. Being(內在特性):
– 香港的English-speaking client相對少,希望轉換一個有較多English speaking 的similar environment有更大發展。
I. Intro: | 【表】表達寫信目的。 |
II. Body: | 1. highlighting your work achievements (topic sentence需要paraphrase改寫) – 技巧: (時間段、數值、服務種類要具體。) 2. why you would like to transfer(topic sentence需要paraphrase改寫) –香港及新加坡都是亞洲金融中心。(Popularity) –新加坡更多English-speaking clients。(Purpose) 3. how your transfer would benefit the whole organization. (topic sentence需要paraphrase改寫) – 相信自己在香港的突出表現,在新加坡依然能持續、甚至更上一層樓。 |
III. Concession 讓步段(Optional)
| 不需要 (因為不是議論文)。
|
IV. Conclusion | 道謝 + 具體聯絡方法 |
心法:Intro, Conclusion, Elaboration 都可運用【5大鋪墊:現、他、表、理、讓】進行「內容製定」。
【什麼是5大鋪墊? 什麼是讓步段? (廣東話按此)(普通話按此)】
B. 範文(Target: DSE level 5**/IELTS Score 8 or above)
解讀Key:
【五大鋪墊】 = 【現】現象/現實例子;
【他】他人看法;
【表】個人表述;
【理】道理;
【讓】讓步段/讓步句
灰底 : 該段Topic Sentence
綠字: 可顯示range of vocabulary(參考下表)的字眼變化
To,
Mr. Hung
General Manager
DBC Bank, Hong Kong
Dear Mr. Hung,
Paragraph 1
【表】I am writing this letter as a formal request to shift my position of ‘Relationship Banker’ from DBC Bank (Hong Kong) to a similar post at the Singapore Branch of the Bank. (一句中運用4個prep. 展示「表達簡潔」的組織力)
(原文【直譯】)
我寫此信作為正式請求—轉移我「客戶銀行經理」一職,從DBC香港到DBC新加坡分行的類近職位。
Paragraph 2
【理】I believe that my experience makes me an excellent candidate for the position. In 2018, I identified opportunities to cross-sell banking products and services to English–speaking clients in Hong Kong, contributing to a total of 70% remarkable increase in yearly profit of my department recording four-consecutive–quarter growth of that year.【 7+3畫解:如何describe data/如何運用hyphen組字(廣東話按此)(普通話按此)】 Moreover, in 2019, among all colleagues in my department, I referred and sold the highest total volume of banking products ranging from personal accounts, merchant lending to online multinational bankings for four months in a row.【7+3畫解:如何舉例(廣東話按此)(普通話按此)】 During my five years at the company (from 2015 to 2020), I was continuously recognized within the most top 5% of employees in terms of efficiency ranking in annual performance appraisals.
【理】我相信我的經驗使我成為此職位的優秀候選人。在2018年,我認出機會對在香港的操英語客戶進行銀行產品及服務的跨界別銷售(cross-sell),給部門帶來總共70%年利潤的明顯增加,其當年記錄為連續4季的(4-consecutive-quarter)增長。而且,在2019年,在部門所有同事當中,我介紹並銷售出銀行業產品的總額連續(in a row)四個月為最高,從個人戶口、商業借貸、網上跨國銀行業務不等。在公司的五年期間(2015到2020),我連續(continuously)地在每年表現評核中(以效率排名計算),為員工最上層的5%內。
Paragraph 3
【理】I always love and have maintained sustainable customer relationships with different kinds of English-speaking clients on financial decisions, with regard to their various bank accounts or change of bank policies, and provide constructive investing counsel as well. 【7+3畫解:如何用and(廣東話按此)(普通話按此)】 Since Singapore is a country speaking English, I do believe that a geographical transfer of my position will take me up a notch (等級) in my career ladder. For Singapore and Hong Kong are both financial centres in Asia, their similar attributes cause me relatively easy to get used to the ‘new’ working environment.
【理】我非常熱愛並已保持與操英語用戶,在財務決策上的可持續(sustainable)顧客關係,關於他們的戶口組合或銀行政策的改動,並且提供建設性的投資建議。由於新加坡是一個操英語的國家,我相信職位上地域的轉換會使我,在職業階梯上,更上一個等級。因為新加坡及香港兩者都是亞洲的金融中心,他們的類近特質讓我對「新」的工作環境,相對容易適應。
Paragraph 4
【理】Concerning how my transfer benefits the whole DBC group, my past dazzling work performance speaks for itself. I would like to continue doing so at the Singapore location, as requested. In recent years, I find there is a successive trend that more English-speaking clients in Hong Kong prefer investing in Singapore more. With my HK clients’ base, I am confident to grasp this opportunity to cross–promote products and services across these two Asian financial hubs (樞紐), bringing extra income to the conglomerate.
【理】關於我的轉移怎樣幫助到整個DBC集團,我過去耀眼的(dazzling)的工作表現其實是有目共睹(不言而喻)的。我會繼續,跟從公司的要求下,在新加坡地區如在這裡般。在過往幾年間,我發現有一個持續的趨勢—在香港的操英語用戶更願意投資在新加坡。以我香港的客戶資料庫,我有信心把握這個機會,去跨地域宣傳這兩個亞洲金融樞紐間的產品和業務,為集團帶來額外的收入。
Paragraph 5
【表】Thank you for your kind consideration regarding my request. If you have any questions or need further assistance, you can contact me at [email protected] or (852)555-XXXX.
【表】謝謝你對我請求的關切。如你有任何疑問或需要進一步協助,你可以聯絡我,電郵:[email protected] 或電話:(852)555-5588。
Sincerely,
Chris Wong
Relationship Banker, DBC Bank (Hong Kong)
Copyrights reserved by Tomato Yip
C) Vocabulary pool 字彙庫
透過【7+5音符英語(發音系統)按此】幫助你 (數分鐘解說就能應用的Phonics系統)
增強vocab長期記憶、無痛學曉國際拼音
Ci) Vocabulary/Phrase worth memorizing (商業常用)
| 7+5音符拼記 【教你點睇7長+5短拼音(廣東話按此)(普通話按此)】 | 國際拼音 |
experience 經驗(無plural form) | ekspērîe̥nce̽ | ɪksˈpɪərɪəns |
experiences經歷 (有plural form) | ekspērîe̥nce̥z | ɪksˈpɪərɪənsɪz |
counsel =advice (都是無plural form) 建議 | cô+ûse̥l | ˈkaʊns(ə)l =ədˈvaɪs |
annual performance appraisal 每年的工作評核 | a³nnūḁl pe̥rfôrmḁnce̽ ḁpprāi̽sḁl | ˈænjuəl pəˈfɔːməns əˈpreɪzəl |
the most top (不用toppest) | the̥ mōst tôp | ðə məʊst tɒp |
career ladder職業階梯 | cḁrēe̥r la³dde̥r | kəˈrɪə ˈlædə |
notch 等級 | nôtch | nɒʧ |
hubs 樞扭地帶 | hûbz | hʌbz |
Cii) 顯示 Range of Vocabulary (Paraphrase能力↑)
| 段落位 | 7+5音符拼記 | 國際拼音 |
shift 轉移 | 1st 段 | shîft | ʃɪft |
transfer 轉移 | 4th 段 | tra³nsfe̥r | ˈtrænsfə(ː) |
position 職位 | 1st 段 | po̥sîtion | pəˈzɪʃən |
post 職位 | 1st 段 | pōst | pəʊst |
remarkable 顯眼的 | 2nd 段 | rēmârkḁble̥ | rɪˈmɑːkəbl |
dazzling 亮眼的 | 4th 段 | da³zzling | ˈdæzlɪŋ |
I believe that 我相信 I do believe that | 2nd 段 3rd 段 | ī bēlîe̽ve̽ tha³t | aɪ bɪˈliːv ðæt |
I am confident to 我有信心 | 4th 段 | ī a³m cônfîde̥nt tū | aɪ æm ˈkɒnfɪdənt tuː |
(超常用商業vocab變化!) |
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with regard to 關於 | 3rd 段 | wîth rēgârd tū | wɪð rɪˈgɑːd tuː |
regarding 關於 | 5th 段 | rēgârding | rɪˈgɑːdɪŋ |
concerning 關於 | 4th 段 | co̥nce̥:rning | kənˈsɜːnɪŋ |
(超常用商業vocab變化!) |
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continuously 連續 | 2nd 段 | co̥ntinūo̥usly | kənˈtɪnjuəsli |
consecutive 連續 | 2nd 段 | co̥nsêcu̥tive | kənˈsɛkjətɪv |
* in a row *連續 | 2nd 段 | în ḁ rōw | ɪn ə rəʊ |
sustainable 可持續的 | 3rd 段 | su̥stāi̽nḁble̥ | səsˈteɪnəbl |
successive連續 | 4th 段 | su̥ccêssîve | səkˈsɛsɪv |
group 集團 | 4th 段 | gro̽ūp | gruːp |
conglomerate 集團 | 4th 段 | co̥nglôme̥rāte | kənˈglɒmərɪt |
cross (v.t.) 跨 | 4th 段 | crôss | krɒs (viː.tiː.) |
across (prep.) 跨 | 4th 段 | ḁcrôss | əˈkrɒs (prɛp.) |
Ciii) Useful Expressions (商業常用)
ranging from A, B to C (舉例用,晤駛又是such as) | 2nd 段 |
take me up a notch (等級) 更上一層樓 =take me to the next level | 3rd 段 |
and ….as well 還有 | 3rd 段 |
cross-sell/ four-consecutive-quarter growth/English-speaking / cross-promote(自製vocab) | 2nd段/2nd段/2nd段/4th 段 |
speals for itself 有目共睹 | 4th 段 |